Are you single and loving it so far but starting to wonder about how you might settle down?

The mindset of a single person is carefree, no need to worry about supporting or answering to anyone. In this mindset some people can live there forever, but can you? If you’re wondering how to bridge the gap from being single into a committed relationship, here are some quick tips.

Being single means:

There’s time to travel the planet, meet new people, decide on multiple career options, make, lose, spend and invest money, be daring, stay out all night and discover who you really are. Between the ages of 21 to 39 (or older) people take time to create the lifestyle they want by doing what lights them up.

However if the intention is to get married one day and possibly have kids, then these next steps are to encourage focus because when you finally meet an amazing individual, sometimes there’s. only one chance to impress someone. For this you’ll need to have the basic core of yourself figured out. Understand what you will and will not tolerate and meet people from a place of authenticity.

Top 4 Areas To Focus On While Searching for your Soul Mate


I encourage you to consider your faith of choice by getting all the way in or decide to get out because if someone chooses you based on your religious ideals, they will expect to raise children that way and maintain that religion for years to come.


Network for your prosperity; right now is the time to build bridges, meet people, build your brand if you’re becoming a serious entrepreneur. If you plan on building your wealth then I’m sure you’re already doing your plan of action. Being an entrepreneur can be tricky because it has many ups and downs. If you want to marry or become common law with someone, they need to understand that you have the intelligence to plan ahead and be transparent about the future expectations. For example, will your partner always need to work or will you be able to support them while they raise the kids?


Decide what positive habits you stand for; is it that you will never smoke and will not invest in a partner who does? Do you want to be in triathlons and be a vegan? Do you want 10 children and how will you raise them? What will be the focus, sports, academia, home schooling?


Note who you were 10 years ago and you’ll notice how different you are now. Just the same as 10 years from now you will be completely different. The differences will come from where you’re directing your attention right now.

The magic is focusing your life into the path you want to go from here.

This is the awareness you need to have in order to become the best version of yourself.

You’re not ready for a relationship if


You enjoy being promiscuous


Unwilling to be transparent about who you really are or unable to relate on an emotional level


You enjoy leading other people on

You are ready for a relationship if


You know your personal standards.


Ready to give up multiple partners


Not interested in fake conversations to impress someone


Not easily pressured by outside influences to get married, you will do it on your terms

Here is a 5 second test: imagine you had a son or daughter, would you want them to be in a serious relationship with someone like you at this stage of your life?

Being single is fun but while you’re living life in a free state, take time each year to get clear on who you are and what direction you want to go in once you’re with a special someone.

How to attract your ideal spouse

Become the best version of yourself so he or she would love to build a life with you.

For example:

If you’re into charities for the cause and not just to look good, someone out there will love your good heart, attraction comes from being relatable such as seeing yourself in the other person. The stronger the alignment mixed with romance the better chances of having success in meeting the right person.

A Romantic Connection Feels Like

There is a genuine interest in knowing the person and not seeing them as a distraction. There’s flow to conversations, many themes in common and over all connection is easy. Each person has a great attitude and understands how to work out problems. Working out problems is important because if this part doesn’t flow it can be tricky to maintain a great marriage. It’s not just about awesome sex although that is a part of it, ideally everyone wants to be with someone they can trust, feel safe and can see a spot to build memories together from.

Disclaimer To Consider; Of course every scenario is unique and nothing is written in stone. Many relationships and marriages work without every area of life figured out. The key is remains flexible and respectful along the journey together with the understanding up front that changes will happen. For those who know their core ideals early in life you may find a partner sooner and have a higher rate of overall happiness because you’ve aligned with the right style of person from the beginning.

Divorce is Caused by a Phase of Need

A word about divorce, many people decide to marry through a phase of need. A phase of need means someone is lonely, is just experimenting, wants to get into a family with money, wants kids right now etc. We are all human beings with needs and wants but as we go into relationships, the least selfish way to involve another person and their family is to understand the advantages they will have investing a life with you and your immediate family.

No one can predict the next 25 years of a relationship but understand that it’s not going to be amazing just because one of you walks into the room after the next two decades. It takes understanding, awareness, flexibility, forgiveness and rewarding but sometime hard work.

If you’re single and love it, have a happy year. If you’re ready to do what it takes to mesh with someone else who’s ready and you both understand what’s important, I wish you success in your journey.

I’m Shanon Dawn, an international Life & Relationship Coach, I teach individuals how to live a life by design.

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